


I Never Loved You

by DecifurThis



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: A LOT of Angst, AU, Bill does a terrible thing, Bill is so creepy and unstable, BillDip, Dream Sequence, Emotional Manipulation, Fire, I wrote Bill's, Implied Character Death, M/M, Nightmares, She wrote all of Dipper's pieces, Something ends up getting burned down, Things burning, This is a collab piece that tumblr user sneezes-like-kitten and I wrote, pre-existing relationship, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4292223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecifurThis/pseuds/DecifurThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Cipher cares only about his end game and his emotional manipulation towards his favorite pawn was taken a little too far. And now Dipper is paying for falling for it.</p><p>This is an old piece that Tumblr User sneezes-like-kitten and I wrote together. It was the only thing she and I ever finished, so I finally took the time to sit down and compile all the pieces of this together for us. This is posted with full permission from my co-author who doesn't have her own A03 account.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Loved You

“You know… I’ve had some time to think. That tends to happen when you live an existence where you don’t have the luxury of sleeping. You humans don’t really know what it is that you take for granted…” Bill realized that he was beginning to digress and smirked almost wickedly. “The point is that I think you should know that I’ve _finally_ gotten my priorities figured out.” He grasped Dipper’s chin between thumb and forefinger a little more roughly than necessary. “There’s just… _something_ about you, kiddo. Maybe it’s your blind trust? Yes. That _has_ to be it.” He kissed the corner of Dipper’s lips, moving to nip at his ear lobe. “You know that journal inside and out. Yet you seem to keep forgetting the golden rule—- **_Trust. No. One._** "

  
He released his hold on Dipper and paced a bit, waving his hand around. "I am well aware that you still don’t have your memories— _gosh what a bummer!_ — and the journal isn’t currently in your possession— _a minor setback_ — but I have never really hid my intentions from you. Why start now? You and I are going to get the journal back and then I’ll be removing myself from your life. Because once that journal is back in my hands, I’ll have no more use for you.”

  
Bill finally stopped pacing and looked Dipper right in the eye. “The truth is that no matter what you might have ever though, ** _I. Never. Loved. You._** ”

  
Dipper was just finishing one of the new books of his, solving the mystery of the story in his head. Suddenly Bill appeared in his room which made him flinch slightly. Dipper eyes Bill while tilting his head and raising his eyebrow. What he was even talking about? Was this some kind of joke? He tried to struggle when Bill took a hold on his chin, whelp this was weird even for Bill.

  
As Bill continued talking, it made Dipper even more confused and left him speechless. He felt like someone was tearing his little heart apart, actually Bill was with all those he just said. Mostly the last part made Dipper feel like being stabbed with thousands of knives at the same time. He knew that falling for demon was the biggest mistake in his life so far, and now he’d have to pay for it. This was the most awful feeling in the world. He'd be losing the journal maybe forever, but also Bill. If this was a joke, it must be the most cruel one.

  
Dipper tried to act all tough, not to let the sadness and confusion show that much, even if it took lots of energy out of him to cogitate all of this in his mind. “Bill-…” he glared at the demon. “-…when I get the journal back from Gideon, I won’t let you have it, no matter what’s the cost. And love, pfffttt, you don’t even know what love means! If all the things you did was your way of showing your love or affection towards someone, good luck being all alone in your perfect little life!” He crossed his arms. His body was trembling slightly, but he tried to suck everything up for now, no matter how much it hurt him.

  
Bill was resting his arms on Dipper’s shoulders, looking down at the kid. His expression was void of most emotion. It was as if everything the two had been through the past few days never happened. “When you get the journal? You talk big game for such a child. You’re trying to play a game you know you’ve already lost. Admit it. You’re in way over your head. You don’t even know the significance of those books.”

  
He pressed his forehead against Dipper’s. “But okay, I’ll humor this idea of yours. Assuming you get all the journals… then what? Do you even have plans for them? Do you even have the TIME to solve all the mysteries of Gravity Falls? Summer vacation lasts only so long. And then you’ll end up packing up and running back home to return to your boring life. On second thought, maybe I should just make sure Gideon gets to keep the books. At least he’ll do something interesting with them. This sleepy little town could use a wake-up call."

  
Bill flopped onto the ground in front of the other, pulling his legs to his chest. "Oh boo-hoo, _I don’t know what love is_. What’s your point? I don’t need it! Specially not with a human. You things are so revolting. You get old and then you die. It’s a horrible process and why would I take a human lover if I couldn’t be with them for the rest of eternity? —- Why am I taking love advice from a TWELVE year old. Speaking of, how could I even love one? I mean is that even legal? Technically I am ageless, but…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Don’t tell me you were actually developing feelings for me? I mean sheesh kid, I knew you were stupid, but that’s like new level stupid!” He couldn’t stop himself from bursting out into a fit of giggles. This whole situation was hilarious!

  
“Hmph, when I get all the journals, and hopefully my memories back, I’ll do whatever it takes to solve the mystery in time, and you or that cotton candy haired Gideon can’t stop me” Dipper knew that this was just a big lie, there was no way he’d do it by himself, and because of the memory loss he knew even less of all the things that have happened to him. But lucky for him, he always had his sister, Soos, Wendy and Grunkle Stan on his side. Dipper looked up at Bill, his expression drove fear in the kid, maybe he shouldn’t back-sass the demon that was most dangerous thing in the universe, but Dipper had to. He just had to stay strong and keep his coolness so he wouldn’t just fall on the floor crying out loud.

  
Dipper kept his eyes on Bill, looking at him with disbelieving expression on his face. What happened to him? Were the few times they spend together just a big joke that the demon would mess with Dippers emotions? Maybe it was just a plot to make Dipper lead the way to the journals? Dipper felt like his mind was getting all blank and the feeling of love dying, leaving him crying internally. Why was he so stupid to fall for the demon? And not only demon, but also for the lies Gideon fed him? Was this all a punishment for sticking his nose into things that actually didn’t have to bother his daily life?

  
Dipper frowned sadly at Bill while listening him. This really was happening. He closed his eyes for a moment before squeezing his hands into fists. “I never said I was developing any kind of positive feelings for you. Hah,in your dreams demon! I might be stupid, make stupid choices, but falling for a demon, who actually was the stupid one to let me keep the journal, is something I’d never do, not even if you were the last person on earth!” Dipper tried to keep his coolness and not stutter while giving back piece of his mind, even though he was lying. He could feel like his heart was completely ripped out of his chest, the pain he felt was something the most horrid he’d been ever felt.

  
Bill grinned, but there was something about it that was so completely unhinged. If you looked close enough, it was like something snapped inside of him and all semblance of what ever he had once felt towards Dipper was gone and never existed to begin with. “I’d like to see you try. Indulge me. **L e t ’ s p l a y t h i s g a m e.** ” Bill was now on all fours, claws digging into the wood floor beneath him. It was making such a haunting sound as he crawled closer to Dipper, grabbing hold of the kid’s ankles, honey sweet moans escaping slightly parted lips.

  
“Don’t lie to me. You’re so bad at it.” Bill moved his hands to rest on Dipper’s hips, slipping fingertips beneath the kids shirt to rest claws against bare skin. “Don’t you **_dare_** tell me I don’t make your heart beat just a little bit faster. **I c a n f e e l i t.** "

  
Bill pressed lips against Dipper’s hip, biting at the skin, humming to himself in approval. "Don’t tell me you weren’t falling for me. I had you doing the most stupid shit that I knew for fact you had no real interest in. But you played along with each and every last one of my whims because you wanted to please me. Such a good toy—- _breakable_ —- but obedient.” He ran his tongue along the mark he was leaving to ease the hurt. “Under other circumstances, I might have kept you around a little longer. But as it stands, you don’t even have the journal… so what’s the point in wasting any more of my precious time with you?”

  
He smiled into the skin before pulling away completely. “Nothing but your screams, I suppose. Must admit, _I’d love to hear them._ ”

  
Bill’s grin struck more fear in Dipper and he could feel his body trembling slightly because of that. What happened to Bill? Last time they met he was his “normal” self, but now he was acting like nothing happened between them. It made the smaller boy feel more gloomy. Why? Dipper couldn’t just believe that this all was happening. This was his reward for actually falling for a demon and trusting him. Dipper glared at Bill when he got on all fours, scratching the floor. The sound made Dipper shiver strongly, it was creepy as hell.

  
Before Dipper could do anything, Bill was already holding on his ankles. Dipper looked down at him with confused expression on his face, soon actually finding himself blushing because of what Bill did. It felt as awesome as it did before, making Dippers heart beat bit faster. Part of Dipper just wanted to stay here, but still part of him would have wanted to smack or kick Bill as hard as he could. ”I was not falling for you! And of course I had to do everything you wanted, there was no getting away from those situations!” he raised his voice, still blushing because of the bite mark Bill gave him.

  
Dipper’s eyes widened when he listened what Bill had to say. Was Bill going to hurt him? Kill him? His heart sank some more because of that. But whatever the demon does to him, screaming was not an option, because Dipper did not want to give any kind of joy for Bill. Not anymore.

  
“O-oh” he said and tilted his head, forcing a sly smile on his face. This may be his biggest mistake in his life, but he had to do something. “You know what would make me scream in pain” he came closer at Bill, leaning closer his ear. “To see you….” he whispered and kept small pause before “… FALL INTO THE BOTTOMLESS PIT AND STAY THERE FOREVER!” he shouted out with his high pitched voice straight in Bills ear hoping it would stall him for a moment. Dipper himself turned around and run out of his room. He needed to get away from that demon. But where, he knew there was no hiding from Bill but he had to try. While heading outside in the woods he tried not to collapse because of these mixed and confused feelings he was having at the moment.

  
Bill rolled his eyes as he watched Dipper run off. “Really, kid?” A serene smile played at his lips. PineTree could run if he wanted. That was just fine. Bill took this time to take a good look around the Mystery Shack. It seemed to just occur to him that no matter how many times he found himself here, he never really got to see the full interior. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed a wall of various photos. “Hey PineTree! This is such a nice family you’ve got here!” Bill plucked a photo off of the wall— a very nerdy grade-school picture of Mabel. “It sure would be such a shame if anything bad were to happen to them, don’t you think?” He rehung the picture, moving to press his fingertips against a photo of Stan.

  
“I think I’ll start with your uncle. Tie him up nice and tight. Make him watch as I behead that cute sister of yours. It’d make a charming centerpiece, yeah? Do you think that would be enough to fully break Stan Pines? Or should I just tell him that all of this is your fault? Because let’s face it— instead of facing me like a real man, you keep choosing to run away like a coward!” Bill moved back to the living room, plopping himself in the overstuffed vintage recliner, crossing his legs as if suddenly very bored. “I’ve already told you that I’m tired of this game. I’m not going to chase you, kid. But you should probably know that I DO have the means to get what I want. You WILL come to me on your own volition.” He hummed to himself, lacing his fingers in his lap. “Or don’t. Because I mean, aren’t you a little bit curious to find out what happens to those who defy me? Honestly it is oodles of fun!”

  
Bill leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling as if day-dreaming. “Tick-toc kiddo! While I may have all the time in the world to wait around for you to make up your mind, I can’t exactly say that the rest of your lovely family will have that same luxury…”

  
Dipper did ran to the edge of the forest but ended up slowing down when heard Bill shouting indoors. No, he wouldn’t hurt Dipper’s family, would he? Dipper turned around to look back at the Shack, freezing up when Bill told his plans he had in store for Dippers family. All the horrid images invaded the boys mind while he was trying to think up a plan. If he went back indoors, Bill would kill him, probably torture him to the very end, but if Dipper refused to go back his whole family would be in danger. Soon Dipper found himself on the ground on his knees, holding his head. This was just too much for 12 year old kid to handle.

  
The last thing Bill said out loud, made Dipper flinch and close his eyes for a moment. He needed to do the right thing, hoping he’d have better luck in life next time. Dipper got up slowly, walking back at the Shack with unsteadily steps. At the front door he took deep breath before opening it and slamming the door shut after him. Now to find Bill so he’d finally get what he wants, again. Dipper headed at the living rooms direction, and his hunch was right, Bill was in there. “What in the world is matter with you!? You have no right to do anything to my family!” Dipper was glaring Bill with deep frown on his face. ”Well I’m here now” he spread his arms like he didn’t even care anymore. Dipper just wanted his family to be safe no matter what.

  
Bill was humming to himself. It was turning into a a long sting of very slurred, hard to interpret words. It would have sounded nice if the entire situation wasn’t so deranged. He was actually quite capable of carrying a tune. “Mmmhnnnnn I gotta touch you riiiiight noooow” Bill was rocking back and forth in the arm chair doing some sort of dance to the music in his own head. He seemed to realize he was no longer alone and opened one eye, grinning.

  
“You came back to me.” He stood up, lacing fingers with Dipper, pulling him into a dance. “OOOH TRY TO KEEP IT DOWN so _NOOOOO ONE CAN HEAAAAAAR_.” He suddenly stopped dancing, laughing. “I forgot the rest of the words. But man that is a good song.” He blinked, realizing he should probably answer Dipper’s question. “Do I have to want something? I mean I don’t really need a reason to make you suffer. I am a demon. THAT is what gives me EVERY right.”

  
He twirled Dipper, resuming their dance without music. “Tell me, PineTree… What it must feel like to be at my mercy? I need to know. Do I scare you?"

  
Dipper didn’t have much time to react before he got pulled in a dance with the idiot. He didn’t struggle because knew that it’ll end poorly, just like his life will eventually during this day. He kept his gaze at Bill, frowning at him. If Dipper weren’t a weak human, he really would have done something to break that Beanpole in half. The love or affection he had felt at Bill was gone. There is no way Dipper would ever love anyone who threatened his family. “Oh talking so big, you’re only a triangle shaped dream demon” he said bluntly back and rolled his eyes.

  
There was nothing he could do, just to go along with Bill when he kept dancing. He just shook his head. “Oh I’m shaking” he answered with a sigh. “I’ve been at your “mercy” since the day we met so, not that scared” Indeed he didn’t feel scared at the moment, mostly annoyed and angry at himself for letting that demon in his life. “So what’s the plan? I know it’s you want to hear me scream but-… how? Do tell and make me scared” he kept glaring at the demon while going along with his dancing.

  
Bill was practically pouting at this point. “Not scared of me? Not even a teeeeeenie tiny little itty bitty bit?” He released his hold on Dipper, sitting back down in the chair. “You _grossly_ underestimate me you know?” Any previous ‘joy’ he might have been feeling was gone as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “My PLAN has always been to get the journals. Or get them into the hands of someone who will carry out my plans, since I cannot do much from the DreamScape, and in your world, I am severely limited with what I can do. I no longer believe you are the right fit for my plan.”

  
He eyed Dipper for a moment, a long silence passing between them. “That is not to say you’re not still… moderately amusing. For that reason alone I am okay with keeping you as a pet of sorts.” He grinned, curling his index finger slowly in a 'come hither’ motion. “Kiss me.” An airy, almost dazed tone of voice, but a command that left no room for questions.

  
Dipper listened Bill with slight interest, too bad he wasn’t that stupid to tell his whole plan. “So next you are going to hit Gideon, oh good luck, you two fit for each other perfectly” he said with a sigh and crossed his arms. Well it was good to know what Bill was up to, maybe that information helped even a little bit. If Bill does not kill Dipper right here and now that is.

  
He glared Bill with blank expression on his face for a moment. A pet? First he was some sort of puppet for Bill in his plans, literally, and now a pet. Dipper just snorted at that. There was no way he’d ever act like a pet for Bill. And now he wanted a kiss, what next? Well Dipper frowned at that order, mostly because he remembered what is was like to kiss the demon. But now everything was different. He knew he should do it, for his family's sake, even if he knew this was wrong.

  
Dipper took few steps closer at Bill, looking at him like the biggest scum in the earth. “One kiss..coming right up” he said and leaned closer just to rub their noses against. “Eskimo kiss, hope you loved it,” he said with slightly disgusted tone. My my my, Bill wasn’t the only one who was good at finding loop holes.

  
Had it been any other place and time, Bill would have been able to appreciate the little shit for taking so much after himself in the ways of loopholes. But as it currently stands, it was the farthest thing from adorable. He stood up from his chair, pushing Dipper to the side without a word and began wandering through the Mystery Shack as if looking for something. Well at this point, it didn’t really matter what he did right? Bill was such a fan of a big finish, and since the kid clearly didn’t want to play with him anymore, might as well wrap this thing up!

  
There was a distinct smell of gasoline coming from upstairs in the Pine Twins room. Much of the liquid seeping through the floorboards and dripping through the ceiling and into the living room. Bill tossed the now empty can towards the bedside table, knocking a few pictures and other precious mementos to the floor. God this family was such a train-wreck. Why… did he want to be a part of it so badly? He fell to his knees, clutching the side of his head trying to keep the voices out.

  
He didn’t want to do this! All the same, he pushed himself back into a standing position, very light on his feet, body swaying side to side almost unnaturally. _Why_ …. Well that didn’t even matter anymore. With a grin he plucked a photo of the twins off of the floor, pulling it from underneath the shattered glass of the frame, shards pricking at his fingertips, drawing blood. He snapped his fingers, hand suddenly alight with orange flames, a total contrast from the normal blue color. Bill tilted his head to one side as if in deep thought before dragging his flame covered fingertips against the flimsy piece of paper, setting it on fire, dropping it back on the ground, with a crazed grin on his face.

  
When Bill pushed Dipper aside, he lost his balance and soon found himself from the floor, shaking his head slightly. Man, Bill really didn’t have much sense of humor left in him, now did he? Dipper glared after him, almost flipped the bird at him. He still couldn’t imagine that Bill actually hated him. Even thought Dipper had been acting he didn’t care, internally he actually did. Maybe he should have played along just a while go, but of course Dipper had to mess that up.

  
Dipper looked a bit up when he did smell something odd. What was it? Soon he noticed that something was falling down from the ceiling, he touched the liquid and sniffed. Gasoline? Why would there b-… Dipper jumped up right away. Oh god no, Bill couldn’t!? Well he just blurted out heartlessly that he hated Dipper and would have wanted to hurt his family, so why not to burn the whole Shack down!? Without thinking any more, Dipper dashed towards upstairs. Maybe it wasn’t too late to stop Bill.

  
Soon Dipper got upstairs and automatically headed in his and Mabel's room, just to see that he was already too late. He was about to give Bill a piece of his mind, but there was fire on the loose. It was needed to be put out before the whole Shack was burned down. Dipper ran into the room, trying to step on the fire to put it out, but for his horror, the flames did not go away. Dipper turned his angrily-sad gaze at Bill, you could easily to read from his face that he was highly confused. “What the hell Bill!? What are you doing? Put the fire out! You’re going to burn the whole Shack!” Not that it wasn’t his goal or anything. While shouting at Bill, Dipper’s eyes teared up and he actually reached up at Bill just to give hard slap on his face.

  
“What am I doing…?” It seemed like such a stupid question. Wasn’t it obvious? He blinked, completely caught off-guard by being slapped. It made him drop to his knees in front of the kid, burying his face in his own hands. “ ** _What am I doing._** ” It was uncertain if he even knew anymore. Suddenly his entire body began to shake from the sheer force of his laughing. When he finally removed his hands from his face, he stared up at Dipper, tears in his eyes. “This _isn’t_ what I wanted… This wasn’t meant to be our end-game, kid. _Please believe me.”_

  
He reached up to grab Dipper’s wrists roughly, tugging him to the floor before pinning him there, pressing his lips to the kid’s ear. “People like us don’t get happy endings.” The flames were starting to grow higher and higher, engulfing everything in their path. “I may not have ever loved you— I’m not capable of feeling such a human weakness— but… you were the closest thing to that emotion in my life…”

  
There was no chance that he was about to let Dipper leave. When this shack burned, they were both going to go down with it. “I fucking hate you for making me weak.” He kissed Dipper with a disturbing amount of gentleness, as if afraid he would break. Why should that even matter now? Why did he care?

  
_“Wake up, kid.”_


End file.
